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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?